Help! I'm Having a Third Life Crisis

Can we really have it all? A career, ten children, a gym membership, a booty trumped only by Beyonce's and weekly drinks with the girls. Yes. Does having it all really make you happy? Debatable. Is trying to achieve this the reason you now find yourself popping two Kalms three times daily? Most likely.

But why settle for one when you're given the opportunity to have it all? Everyday I ask myself 'what will make me happy?' -- I often spend sleepless nights pondering this too. And, recently, I've been suffering from anxiety which, in turn, has spiralled into panic attacks. When I'm on my own, on the bus, or even among friends. So if we can have it all, is it okay to be satisfied without 'it all' (if only to save our sanity)?

For me, and I'm sure many other young and aspiring females, 'The List' looks a little like this:

1. Get a degree.

2. Travel the entire world.

3. Experiment. A lot.

4. Get a well-paid job.

5. Marry. Someone like Jesus but sexy, and with an equally (preferably higher) well-paid job.

6. Have a baby (possibly two).

7. Get a mortgage.

8. Maintain a figure second only to Beyonce's.

And all before I hit the age of 30. At 22 (and already a third of the way through my life) I feel like I'm already running out of time. And, worse still, I'm not sure if I'm actually that bothered about completing The List, or whether I'm doing it simply to please the rest of society. Frankly, I just want to be happy – truly happy -- and I'm not entirely sure how to achieve and maintain that mindset (answers on a postcard, please). Hindered further still by the fact my glass is always half empty.

I'm not alone in feeling the pressure to have it all, half my friends are either getting married and have (or are having) babies; the other half still regularly stay up all night after 'forgetting' to sleep and often spend thier weekends in sorry-states – booty-shaking on god-forsaken dance floors or impersonating Mariah [Carey] at a karaoke night (my sincerest apologies, Exeter). Not only do I fear that life is passing me by far too quickly and I'll be kicking-back in a bio-degradable casket before I know it, I can now add 'fear of missing out' to my ever-increasing 'Reasons to Feel Anxious' list. The older I get, the more mortal I feel.

In 2013, a study of 1,100 twenty-somethings found that 86% of those questioned suffer from severe anxiety and stress – I can take comfort from being of the 'norm', at least. Take me back to the days when all a women had to do to succeed was pay attention in school – particularly in her Home Economics and Type-Writing class -- marry the boy she snogged at the school dance then live happily ever after (note to feminists-baring-pitchforks: this is called sarcasm – those women definitely drew the short straw).

Take my own peer-group for example, a few of us have dreams of back-packing around Asia and road-tripping the States, but how can we ever hope to achieve this, including the year or so beforehand we need to save money AND marry The One and have our first child by the age of 25 (mantaining our Beyonce-like-figure's all the while)? Hopeless, right?

It's time we stuck our middle fingers up to society's old-fashioned views on what needs to be done and when. Do what makes you happy, when it makes you happy, I say! Forget all that b*!@**!s about life being 'too short', if you ask me: life is long. It's seven years since I left school and (while I may still look and have the maturity level of a fourteen year old) frankly, it feels like a lifetime ago.

The List was an ideal I created in my head aged fifteen, when I considered anyone past the thirty mark to be practically grave-dodging. Do I really want my first child in the next three years (considering I often find myself weeping and speed-dialling my Mum when I have the flu, convinced that death is upon me)? I think not. And do I really want to get married? It's not just the commitment (or life sentence) that bothers me; these days, weddings set you back upwards of £12000 (blimey!)-- I'd rather spend the cash on travelling, or even towards a deposit for a house. I'll still take my 'like-Jesus-but-sexy' though – rules were made to be broken, as were The Ten Commandments. * Reaches for Kalms *.

#thirdlifecrisis #lists #thelist #beyonce #anxiety #kalms