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THE DEVIL WEARS A SULA #almostauthenticlondoner
- ellie jones
- Nov 9, 2015
- 3 min read
Teas and coffees made: 0
Today's the day: my first day living my dream as an almost authentic Londoner, and interning for two of the UK's best-selling celebrity magazines.
Some people begrudge the morning commute, others pray that had that time for sleeping but today I relish it. And just like any true Londoner, and most likely my future self, I find myself running out the front door in a frenzy, hair still semi-moist, for the 337.
They say fake it till you make it a mantra which I'm channelling this morning. I'm kitted out in this seasons must-have coat, a camel trench -- a steal at £29.99 from New Look, meaning I can even stretch to lunch as a Londoner, for one day, at least.
I jump on the district line and couldn't care less about the two armpits my face is unintentionally nuzzled against -- I am making the Monday morning commute; I have semi-most hair; I have a camel trench coat on, I am an almost authentic Londoner.
Like every other actual Londoner on their time-poor, Monday morning commute I find myself having to break into a slow run for the final part of my commute -- my tardiness will not be responsible for my first impression. I arrive at the offices -- who's publications include two national newspapers, a TV channel and a handful of the UK's best-loved celebrity gossip magazines -- less the Devil Wears Prada and more the Devil Wears a Sula. Oh well, we know the effort was there.
Pleasantries are exchanged and I'm shown to my desk, MY OWN DESK!
The office is like any other office except the walls are adorned with selfies and a have Hot or (I kid you) Not wall and indesign is up and running on every MAC as far as the eye can see. I felt giddy, this is where I wanted to work. This is what I wanted to do!
I'm assigned my first task, compiling a Whats Hot and Whats Not list. I brainstorm hard and complete the assignment to a (I feel) high standard. Having read on www.whatlaradidnext.blogspot.co.uk that it was important not to "sit around and wait to be asked for something to do". I sought out opportunities to ask for new tasks. Apparently Mondays are quiet celebrity news days so I spent the next hour perfecting my barometer, even creating a mock barometer on indesign (please, sir, your applause is not necessary).
Then I overheard something really exciting a certain female famed for saying "shuup!" would be in the office this afternoon. This was the life! I prayed the opportunity would arise for a selfie with the reality star.
THEN something terrible happened, someone else offered to make the teas. *wailing emoji* The only task I had thought my own, THE ONLY TASK I WAS CONFIDENT AT COMPLETING WITH PERFECTION. Had I just made the ultimate intern faux pas in not offering? Had I ruined my career as a journalist a mere 3 hours in? I had broken the interns code and disrespected the office hierarchy. I MUST ensure to not make the same mistake tomorrow.
Lunch. I causally strolled along the Thames, rubbing shoulders with the city workers, joggers and very nearly a pigeon -- I could get used to this.
Back at my desk (my desk!) I was assigned a very important task of transcribing an interview followed by writing addresses on envelopes. I'm also given copies of the magazine a day before they go on sale. Lucky, lucky.
Then the well-known Essex babe arrived with no less 5 members of her entourage (this for someone who's profile has been on the decline since 2011? One can only presume that celeb royalty such as Kim K is followed around coach load of entouragees). She smelled divine, and she had a hot, hot bod.
I leave, more swiftly then intended. Due to not having a pass to enter the secured offices, I'd held in a wee for a good two hours and I'm felt so dehydrated I was sure I would hallucinate at any given moment.
TOMOROWS TASKS:
1. BE ASSERTIVE
2. MAKE THE BLOODY TEASN
3. SMILE
4. GET NOTICED
5. INTRODUCE SELF TO EDITOR
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